Oh the joy of the 18 month doctors appointment.

We kicked off the day hanging out, or should I say tearing up, the Aquarium with Ruby this morning. Leah and Ruby chased each other around and around the tunnels under the sea completely ignoring the fish such was the delight of having such a long runway to hurtle up and down. During a brief rest as Ruby shouted 'ishies' to her hearts content I quietly mentioned to Erika 'Leah still hasn't said 'fish' yet, she still just makes the open and shut mouth noises' at which point Leah looked at me and said 'FISHIES!' and then didn't stop saying it the whole day. Oh my litle contrary one.

Leah spent lunchtime showing off to her Mamgu on Skype, handing over her shoes and bits of 'aahhjjuss' (orange) and taking turns with Mamgu to be tickled under the chin (I'd tickle Leah and then she pointed at the laptop screen and said 'tuhn') then it was off for a fairly decent nap before we had to head out to the doctors for her 18 month appointment - booooo! After playing in play house in the waiting room with a cool 2 year old girl who dealt with Leah's usual doorway sentry-guard stance that she has adopted at playgrounds around San Francisco by diving headfirst through one of the open windows - my kind of girl! we were summoned into one of the many individual consulting rooms where Paul and I took bets on just how long we'd be hanging out there (usually 60-90 minutes). For some reason Leah was spooked from the moment the clothes started coming off and was in full scream whilst clinging to me during the head measure which for those of you in the know is just the beginning. By the time we'd completed the "lying down on a plastic tray while the nurse straightens your legs to measure your length" (30.5 inches) followed by "sitting naked on a weighing scale and staying there until you're still enough to get a decent reading" (22lbs) she was really really pissed off and screaming her head off. I played the Russian roulette game of holding and comforting a distressed but butt naked toddler and luckily survived.

Back in the holding pen Paul and I managed to calm Leah down with games (new word - yellow!), books and freeze-dried banana and strawberry and we hung out there for quite some time. Then the lovely doctor came in to visit. Leah eyed her with great suspicion, grabbed onto me and began to line up her toddler-defense. The stethoscope came out and was swiftly dispatched with a double arm swipe, then the mouth exam which was blocked by a clamped mouth and rapid side-to-side head shake, the doctor fared slightly better with the belly exam and got a couple of prods in 'her belly's firm when she's shouting, that's good' before the roly-poly arms (think combine-harvester) dispatched her. The doctor looked at me and said 'I'd usually check the diaper area at this point but I'm just going to take your word that there are no problems in that department' and with that she was off to get her attending and to order the shots.

Here was the bit we'd been dreading and which we knew Leah would not be able to defend herself against. The nurse came in, I retreated to the other side of the room ready to be the night in shining armour, while poor Paul lay Leah down and held her legs straight while 3 needles (DTaP, chickenpox and H1N1) were poked into her little chubby thighs one after the other. I got to zoom in and 'rescue' her while the really lovely nurse repeatedly apologised to Leah whilst Leah look her full in the face and send out the most amazing amounts of venom from her teary eyes. Then she left and it was the 3 of us in the room, Paul and I trying to calm Leah down, wiping up the tears and snot and also of course trying to make her smile - I went for toes under the tap which did the trick fairly well - when our doctor plus her attending came back. Leah had had enough by this point and just started shouting. The attending backed out and came back in slowly with a present (bribe) for Leah subtly avoiding toddler eye contact the whole time while she talked to Paul about autism markers (no worries there) and general development stuff.

90 minutes after we arrived it was all over. Leah strode out through the corridors in jeans and t-shirt but minus her shoes and socks smiling at everyone and shouting 'BYE-BYE'. We got her into the car where AaahhggPeesh (Bagpuss) was waiting with a big cuddle just for her and got her home for some dinner followed by naked toddler olympics before it was milk and PJs time and off to bed.

We've taken her there at 1, 2, 4, 6, 9, 12, 15 and now 18 months each time for measurements and shots. Thank goodness that's it until 24 months although for that appointment they did mention the possibility of a hep A shot plus, and I'm not sure I can take it, a blood draw.

For my mum....who went through far far worse with me when I was a baby, often on her own and at only 26. I don't know how you did it and I love and admire you all the more now that I'm a mum too...oh yes and sorry for embarrassing you with this in public xxx.